To change the snap settings, go to Tools> Options> Window Designer. There is a category called Layout Options that includes the GridSize option.
As for the standards, I see that they disappear with the advent of technologies that focus on user experience (WPF / Silverlight). Take a look at Expression Blend, for example. Not very standard, right? I think that providing an excellent user interface in every application is much more important than having a common GUI style for all applications.
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