Is Arduino the best tool to work with?
If you are already using a wireless router, you might want to look into the Linux-based firmware for your router. For example, if you have a Linksys WRT router, OpenWrt, and several other options. This will give you more programming power than Arduino will give you.
Are BlackWidow and YellowJacket Wi-Fi options being used, or should I use a Wi-Fi screen, XBee Shield, or something like that?
I haven't used any Wi-Fi add-ons for the Arduino yet, but from my research, the XBee seems to be "standard." You will find much more information online for XBee, and I find it cheaper than BlackWidow or YellowJacket.
Edit
From your answer to my question above, XBee is not what you need. You should probably use a Wi-Fi screen.
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