ActiveRecord only brings you to the point, everything after that should be done using raw SQL. The good thing about AR is that it does such things pretty easily.
However, since Rails 3 you can do almost everything with the AREL API, although the original SQL may or may not look more readable.
I would go with raw SQL, and here is another query that you could try if yours doesn't work well:
SELECT b.* FROM bans b LEFT JOIN ban_reason br on b.ban_id = br.ban_id WHERE br.ban_reason_id IS NULL
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