1.3.2.4 - a good stable release, updating to 1.4.0.1 is very painless and will give you the added benefit of managing the split index and a much faster administration area (updating the bulk attribute has been fixed).
You should not worry too much about memory usage, depending on the number of Apache modules loaded, you should expect to see about 30 MB per child. As long as you do not change or encroach on your limits, you should not have any real concern about how much is consumed. Disabling unused modules can help reduce memory footprint - but honestly, not with any noticeable difference.
You can always throw Nginx in front as a reverse proxy to serve static content requests and handle PHP / dynamic reqs. back to apache. This way you can keep Apache's modular build with .htaccess support and significantly reduce your overhead.
However, this can be done with additional information, such as using
free -m
To find out how part of the memory is allocated.
I would suggest that you download tuning-primer.sh to work in your MySQL configuration. This will give a good (entry level) indicator of how efficient the allocated memory is.
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