I would check out Brad Wilson's blog . It covers the use of unobtrusive validation in MVC3, similar to what you are looking for.
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Regarding server-side validation (spot-checking), check @jfar response for a similar question that I posted regarding user-side validation - it suggests you ask a question about your design if you rely heavily on user-specific validation. In my case, I ended up working with Ajax to handle my own validation, or allowed postback to do the validation.
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