This may not exactly answer your question, but you can say that Mongoose is not trying to reconnect by passing the auto_reconnect parameter to the server. This will prevent the database from trying automatically.
mongoose.connect(mongodb_url, { server : { auto_reconnect : true } });
Then in your code, you can manually check the connection status as follows:
if ( mongoose.connection.readyState == 0 ) {
See other connection ready states: https://github.com/LearnBoost/mongoose/blob/master/lib/connection.js#L38
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