It looks like you identified the problem in a rather complicated way. Try to simplify a bit:
- First of all, you have something like distributed
Map, so there is no need to compare JVMs or cache nodes. - Secondly, you are developing a way to test / test your installation, so you can use predefined data.
Let's say we have two cache nodes, and some Replication magic(provided by Ehcache in your case):

We can also generate some test data (a set of pairs key:value). Thus, the easiest way to test Replication magicis to import our data into Node 1and develop a very simple monitoring tool "Node 2".
: , Node 2, . , , .., .
, , . ( , ):

, , , , .
, , . , :
(, ):

, , .
.