First you need to know that IrDA is not the best choice for remote control. This can be done, but by design IrDA has a high speed / low range, you can emulate low speeds, but ranges (IMO) are far from practical use (Nokia e50 is able to control the shutter of a digital camera from 2-3 m ... with a very, very careful targeting). The amount of hacking required to achieve this is shown here ; you basically need to trick IrDA in order to send pulses correctly with the correct frequency.
Secondly, the CIR remote control is not as simple as you think. There are countless standards that differ in frequency, modulation, wavelength, commands, and so on. You need to know what you want to support. The LIRC site can be very helpful in determining what http://lirc.sourceforge.net/remotes/ is . A good explanation of what all this means is available here: http://www.sbprojects.com/knowledge/ir/ir.htm
As for ready-made libraries and platforms ... Honestly, I do not know. I saw this on PocketPC ( nevo and others) and Symbian S60 ( irRemote ). The J2ME application does not work yet.
The last time I needed an IR remote, I cracked it together with an IR diode, AVR ATTiny and an amazingly short assembly fragment.
Wojciech bederski
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