As long as I understand what you are asking, you are trying to compare the server side Javascript implementation (Node.js) with the messaging protocol (XMPP).
There are many ready-made XMPP servers and many client libraries already written. Since these are the specific things that you will work with, you should evaluate them if you plan to use XMPP and then compare them with other solutions to your problem.
If you are implementing something yourself on top of Node and web sockets, then you need to handle all the things that are already provided by XMPP, such as authentication, encryption, application protocol, etc., as well as all server routing logic. Many XMPP servers also support clustering - transparently running multiple servers under the same domain.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, as you know the most about your specific application. You must compare solutions not only with their only node performance, but also with development time and scalability among other factors.
Mattj
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