Something may be missing for me, but when I used svn merge, I always had to get the revision numbers correctly if I wanted it to work correctly.
So, if you changed (or last merged) in revision 100, then the trunk is currently at level 200, and you want to merge the changes from the trunk into your branch, and then in the branch working directory:
svn merge -r 100:200 trunkURL
Then I think that you will see a conflict that you resolve and verify. You do a similar thing in the trunk working directory to merge with your branch back into the trunk.
svn merge without -r distinguishes between the two locations you specify and applies this diff to the working directory. Therefore, I assume that it happened that the conflict does not exist because your working directory matches the branch header. Thus, the difference between the head of the branch and the head of the torso can be applied to your working directory without any problems. This is not what you want to do: all he does is change your working directory to match the trunk. Try to make another change on the branch, register and repeat the process. If the merge cancels this change (because it is not on the trunk), then I am right about this form of svn merge, but, as I said, I did not use it.
[Edit: prior to svn version 1.5 ...]
Working directories and branches are not the same thing in SVN, and this is annoying as you have to consider the differences. SVN needs more information to perform branch merging than to update or check, because afaik does not automatically take into account where the branch occurred, since it always takes into account where the working directory was checked. I’m sure there is a reason for this, I just don’t know exactly what it is: it’s possible because the SVN copy is more than just branches.
[Edit ... but according to Joshua McKinnon on this answer, with 1.5 svn it supports the correct merges of branches that do what you want automatically. Specify the URL from which you are merging, and run the command in the working directory of what you are merging with. Therefore, in this case, try
svn merge trunkURL
and you should see the conflict. You may need to return the working directory first.]