To change the buffer size, select the data flow task and change the properties of DefaultBufferMaxRows, MaxBufferSize. Together they determine the size of the buffer.
Please note that in the discussion that you linked, the user initially increased the buffer size (up to 100 MB), which probably caused the problem, and the recommendation was to reduce it . The default buffer size (10 MB) should usually be OK.
To run the child package in a separate process, set the ExecuteOutOfProcess property of the Execute Package task (in the main package).
But first of all: make sure that you are really working with virtual memory, not real memory, which is usually more likely. Look at the task manager in processes that consume memory on this computer.
Michael
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